This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License. Note: This story is set in a fictional version of Walt Disney World Resort, and all referenced material is used in like fashion. The Walt Disney Company has not authorized or endorsed this story. Story by David Foxfire; Artwork by David Foxfire, colored by Rich Koster
When Oswald the Lucky Rabbit found himself with a heart, and because of that back in the ‘real’ world, he expected to have some problems adjusting to the 21st Century. Most of the time he expected the change. Heavy Metal Rock and Roll? He liked some of the Power Metal variety, although he’s mostly a jazz fan. Technological gadgets that borderline on what Yensid can do? First thing he did when he got his new house is get all three modern game systems and a computer for E-Mail and Letter writing. Drugs and Crime? Nothing new under the sun to him. A Black President? My, how things changed, too bad he found Barack Obama to be a bit inexperienced. Terrorism? Pshaw, the United States military may be eons advanced from the army he was used to, but they should go a couple rounds against the Phantom Blot and then come back to him.
It wasn’t until he went into a Starbucks for the first time that he was truly shocked.
And Mickey Mouse was there to see it first hand. “Ha ha ha,” Mickey said as he slapped Oswald’s back. “Welcome to the 21st Century, big brother.”
“F-Four bucks for a cup of coffee?!” was all Oswald could say when he looked at the menu.
“Those are just the espresso drinks, Ozzy,” Francie Cottontail said in consolation. “There’s the ones I lived through Med School on. Take three cups of coffee condensed into a shotglass, add steamed milk and your favorite toppings, and after slamming it down, you won’t blink for three days. Fortunately the brewed drinks are closer to your budget, hon.”
“I usually just stand there and look cute, and they give me a sample size,” Johnny said.
“Just my speed, um?”
“Oswald didn’t hear what The Kid said. He was too busy turning on the charm to the lady barista who scratched his chin. “My, Oswald, you sure wear your age well.”
“A lot better than my younger brother, afraid to say,” Oswald turned to Mickey with a sly grin. “Was that a grey hair on that arm you slapped my back with?”
Mickey, of course, steamed on that.
“Oswald!” Ortesnia said with a stern voice. “Could you pry yourself away from that barista so she can make a couple coffees, will ya? I think she’s one of Johnny’s girls anyways.”
Oswald rolled his eyes at Johnny, who was Starbucks literate enough to pick from the three kinds of normal coffee offered. It came from a decanter with several ceramic mugs with cream and three kinds of sugar.
“You’ll be surprised how many people are picky about their sweetener,” Amber said.
That reminded Ortesnia. “Ma’am, I hope you don’t have any of my kids wanting some coffee. They’re pretty much hyped up as normal.”
The barista shook her head. “We set up a water tank for them outside, keeps them from barging in. Did you know that some of them have those hydration backpacks?”
One of the larger ones was filling one just now.
Ortesnia shrugged. “Some of them are quite adventurous. I just tell them to watch out for cars, stay off freeways, and keep within the property boundaries. They usually don’t cause trouble.”
The barista had to ask. “How do you manage four hundred and eighty kids?”
“Don’t ask,” Ortesnia said as she returned to the iPod, she did a video search for Parkour and was playing it for the others in the table.
“This internet is pretty something when it’s good, isn’t it?” Ortesnia said.
“We might need to emphasize the three words, “when it’s good,” don’t we?” Francie said with a giggle.
“I take it you came back thanks to the internet too, did you, Fanny?” Amber asked.
Francie nodded. “Yeah, used to practice in the Wasteland, but I ‘fell’ under the same condition that fell Ozzy and Ortesnia,” she said. “It was only after contacting Yensid did we knew what happened. It seems that it’s spreading too, this modern technology is making forgotten characters remembered again. He’s monitoring it as we speak. Speaking of monitoring, have you seen some parts of the Net?”
“What parts, Fanny,” Ortesnia asked.
“We all have fan groups already,” Francie added. “Even you Johnny.”
Johnny just smiled and straightened up. “Well, I do keep up with my ‘far-eeeks.’ That’s what I call them.”
“That term could be apt, JB.” Fanny said. “Did you hear about some of the arguments that go on over which one of us,” she pointed between herself and Ortesnia, “should be Oswald’s true love?”
Ortesnia eyes grew a bit wide. Oswald’s more so. “You’re not kidding?” Ortesnia said.
“Oh, I think I heard some of that,” Ortesnia said. “There are some stories fans made that put both of us completely out of character.”
“That bad?” Johnny asked.
“One of them made me into a vindictive rageaholic who is hell-sent on getting Oswald back from some Valley Girl version of Fanny here. If you know me enough, young man, you’ll know I’ll never get that violent.”
To that Francie had to say, “There was the time she had to defend her kids from that Jailer Pete, though.”
“He got in between a mother and her kittens,” Ortesnia said, “what else should I do?” She then went back to her half-drunk coffee. “They even had me teaming up with Mortimer. Ugh! What was the writer thinking?”
“About how you and me could make beautiful music together? Ha-cha-cha.”
All three girls slumped. They didn’t have to turn around to see who was behind them.
Amber didn’t say a thing. She just refilled her cup with the still-pipping hot coffee from the decanter and just threw it where she heard the voice from. Underhand.
Judging from Johnny and Oswald’s wince, she made her intended target: Between the chest and the insides of the thigh.
They could hear the scream over the “It’s a Small World” music.
“They weren’t kidding about coffee being that hot!” Oswald said.
“You’ve heard of that lawsuit already, then?” Johnny replied.
“And we’re drinking this?” Oswald said.
“That’s why I always put ice in it myself,” Johnny said.
“Heh, but I guess he won’t hit on anyone else again for today,” Oswald said. He winced again as he saw a doubled over Mortimer favoring the affected area.
“If it were only so simple,” Ortensia said.
Mortimer Mouse’s voice sounded more like his more famous rival. “You just up and threw it at me!” He wondered if it were steam or fried toon flesh he was seeing.
“Well, seeing that whenever you try to talk to me eventually ends up with something thrown at you,” Amber said. “I thought I’d bypass all the annoying talking and hitting on me and just cut to the chase.”
“I wasn’t talking to you, Amber,” Mortimer siad. “I was talking to that hot-to-trot cat.”
Ortesnia just favored her head.
Mortimer tried standing up.
“And don’t start, Moritmer,” Johnny said. “You already look like you couldn’t wait to go to the bathroom.”
“One moment, then.” Mortimer said. He went outside.
Ortesnia and Fanny breathed a sigh of relief.
Mortimer returned with a fresh pair of slacks on.
“Don’t tell me he just switched pants right in Main Street.” Johnny muttered.
Mortimer than took a deep breath.
“Someone stop him!” Francie said. “He’s about to spurt out a mass of pick-up lines!”
Johnny and Oswald was on the move before the inhale was full. Oswald hopped up on Johnny’s shoulders as Johnny made sure he had a firm enough stance. Oswald then grabbed Mortimer’s snout and clamped his mouth shut.
“Not one word to my wife, buster, or you’ll have worse things than hot coffee between your…”
“What is the matter here?!”
Johnny had to blink at the Cop Pete that showed up at the front door. “Another Pete?”
Mortimer tried to say something to Pete but Oswald was still holding on.
“Will you kindly let go, Oswald,” Pete asked. “He’s trying to talk to me and you’re annoying him, see?”
“I’ll let go as soon as Morimer turns back to Johnny.” Oswald replied. “Apparently you distracted The Kid and he forgot to let go of my feet.”
And indeed, Johnny still had a hold of Oswald’s feet on his shoulders. The rest of Oswald was hanging off Mortimer’s face when he turned around.
“That’s right, Mortimer, turn back around, that’s it” Oswald had to guide the larger rodent back to where Johnny was at so that Oswald can reclaim his feet. He then hopped down. “As a matter of fact, I’m glad you’re here. This man was annoying my wife and her friends.”
“One of them nearly singed off my…”
Oswald just hammer fisted Mortimer below the belt. “And he talks too loud.”
“And you just hit him in an ungeltmanly spot!” Cop Pete said as he grabbed Oswald by the neck, making sure that he got all of him. “And in a restaurant to boot, did you? That sort of thing would get you noticed over at The Blaze, but we don’t take kindly on that kind of activity here in Celebration, See?! I’m taking you in.”
“Under what jurisdiction., Mister?”
Cop Pete turned around to find who was yelling at him.
“Last time I checked,” Mickey Mouse said. “The Amusement Park Division has Celebration under it’s beat. And I doubt they’d hire you.”
“Yeah,” Minnie said. “That floosie vixen would have you for lunch.” Her lips curled at the thought of mentioning OCP-APD’s top cop.
Cop Pete just growled.
“But you’re right about not wanting a fight inside a Starbucks!” Mickey said as he pointed toward the lawn. “Let’s take it outside!”